Trump Answers Nation's Cry For Leadership By Selling 45,000 Cartoons Of Himself As A Superhero For $99 Apiece

The Filing

PALM BEACH, Fla. After teasing a "MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT" that aides, allies, and a watchful press corps assumed would concern his newly launched third presidential campaign, the war in Ukraine, or perhaps the future of the republic whose Constitution he had proposed terminating twelve days earlier, former President Donald J. Trump on Thursday delivered the news a grateful nation had been waiting for. He is now available as a set of 45,000 digital cartoons depicting him as a superhero, a cowboy, an astronaut, and a race car driver, each one purchasable for $99.

"MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! My official Donald Trump Digital Trading Card collection is here," the former president wrote on Truth Social, directing the public to a website where 44,000 of the tokens, minted on the Polygon blockchain, were made available for immediate purchase. In an accompanying video delivered against a gold backdrop, Trump introduced himself as "hopefully your favorite President of all time, better than Lincoln, better than Washington," before presenting the images, which the collection billed as amazing art of his life and career.

The cards, the website's fine print clarified, are not political, carry no inherent monetary value, and are produced not by Mr. Trump or any campaign but by a licensing firm, NFT INT LLC, that pays the former president a fee for the use of his name and likeness. Buyers were thus assured that they were acquiring neither an investment, nor a statement, nor a candidate, but rather a roughly trading-card-shaped picture of a man who had spent the preceding two weeks dining with a Holocaust denier and calling for the suspension of constitutional governance.

The full run sold out within twelve hours, generating gross sales of roughly $4.45 million, and the floor price doubled on secondary markets within two days, vindicating the collection's promise of no inherent monetary value. Holders were entered into a sweepstakes for prizes including a round of golf with the former president, a gala dinner at Mar-a-Lago, and a Zoom call, allowing the most devoted supporters the opportunity to convert $99 into a chance at proximity, which several analysts noted is the only product the enterprise was ever truly selling.

Reached for comment, sources within the former president's orbit described the rollout as exactly the bold leadership the moment required, on the theory that a politician who can sell 45,000 pictures of himself in a single afternoon has identified, with admirable precision, the smallest possible favor the public can do for him and the largest possible price they will pay to do it.

At press time, Mr. Trump had announced that the limited edition collection would be followed by a second limited edition collection, and then a third, and then a fourth, each described as the first.

Who Benefits

§Donald Trump, personally, who collected a licensing fee for his name and likeness plus a share of resale royalties, an income stream that required no campaign, no policy, and no governing of any kind.
§NFT INT LLC, the Utah licensing firm that produced and sold the 45,000 tokens and shared the proceeds, while serving as the legal buffer between the former president and his own merchandise.
§Secondary-market flippers, who watched the floor price double within two days of a product the seller had formally declared to have no inherent monetary value.
§The disclaimer-laden corporate structure itself, which let Trump profit from the cards while officially disclaiming responsibility for both their value and their message.
§Truth Social, whose engagement and traffic spiked as the entire political press spent a news cycle parsing a superhero cartoon.
§The handful of buyers who won the perks, who paid for, and in some cases received, a round of golf or a dinner of proximity to a former and possibly future president.

Sourced to the public record · presented without editorial embellishment